Never Enough
by FanfictioningFangirl
Summary: "What's your favourite colour?" Albus asks. "Green," he says, for the emerald eyes staring down at him. In which Scorpius Malfoy is madly in love with Albus Severus Potter and isn't sure how much longer he can survive keeping it a secret.


**Title: Never Enough**

**Summary: "What's your favourite colour?" Albus asks. "Green," he says, because for the emerald eyes staring down at him. In which Scorpius Malfoy is madly in love with Albus Severus Potter and isn't sure how much longer he can survive keeping it a secret.**

**Disclaimer: ****I am not associated with J.K Rowling or Warner Bros and make no profit from any of what I am posting.**

* * *

_**Never Enough**_

_i._

Sometimes, Scorpius wishes he'd never listened to Al on their first day of fourth year. He wishes they'd never snuck out and stolen the time turner. He wishes they'd never tried to fix something that had never truly been broken.

He's fifteen and at home, with Albus sleeping next to him. They'd started with Al on a spare mattress, but they're best friends and, after the first time Scorpius woke up screaming, Al didn't want to leave him alone.

He snores softly now, his lips parted and stomach rising and falling, and the soft sound is a contrast to the silence that usually fills his room.

At Hogwarts, before their adventures, the snoring used to annoy him. Scorpius would often wake up to Albus grunting like a dying pig and would have to prod his best friend in the ribs repeatedly till he quieted down. Off late, the snoring's been a reminder that he's not alone. That even when the shadows are most visible, and his memories are most vivid, Al is always nearby.

Scorpius flips over, again, elbow grazing Al's and, even though it barely counts as contact, the touch sends sparks flying through his veins. Al's presence comforts him, Scorpius thinks, scooting dangerously close. It always has. There's nobody else he'd rather have by his side on a day like this.

When Scorpius falls asleep, he's close enough to feel the heat radiating off Albus.

* * *

_ii._

They sit at the back in Charms; wands pointed at each other and whispering between spell casting.

"Dad's extremely excited," Al says, flicking his wand lazily but to no avail. "Even James, who usually enjoys creepy talk is getting bored. I mean, it's only a wedding."

"The first wedding of this generation," Scorpius says, echoing Al's words from a few days ago. "And they're cute, right?"

Al shrugs. "He's basically my god-brother, if that's a thing, and she's my cousin. Its bloody weird is what it is." He tries the spell again, then sighs, lowering his wand. "You'll come, right? For the wedding?"

"Yeah, obviously," Scorpius says, and then because he hasn't tried yet, "Rictumsempra."

He isn't expecting the spell to work, but Al bursts into a fit of giggles at once, clutching his stomach with one hand and trying to ward off invisible hands with another. For a moment, Scorpius is too shocked to react, then he quickly waves his wand and lifts the spell.

"I'm never talking to you again," Albus mumbles at once, face as red as Lily's hair. He gives Scorpius an evil side eye and crosses his arms over his chest.

He thinks he might be in love. Scorpius blinks, caught off guard by his own thoughts. Then his gaze flits across, and he takes in Al's scowl and the bright green of his emerald eyes. Yeah, he thinks again, gulping down a smile that threatens to spread across his face. He might be in love with his best friend.

* * *

_iii._

Scorpius finds Al sprawled under the beach tree on a Wednesday afternoon, shoes off and arm cushioning his head. He looks calm, Scorpius thinks, taking a moment to stare. Albus, whether awake or asleep, is anything but calm and the change is welcome.

"Hey," Al murmurs, opening one eye and squinting at him. "Was beginning to think you'd never come."

Scorpius rolls his eyes, sitting down next to Al. "Was beginning to think you'd died under this tree."

He's grinning now, a glint in his eye. "Died and came back," he says matter-of-factly. "Runs in the family, you know."

Scorpius snorts. "That's bloody terrible."

Al's grin widens. "Pretty darned good, you mean!" He pats the spot next to him; squeezing his eyes shut again. "Lie down. It's weirdly nice like this."

Scorpius settles in the spot next to Albus, too far for his liking and yet, close enough for his heart to start somersaulting.

"How was runes?" Al asks.

"Tolerable. Can't wait to drop it next year."

He can see Al from the corner of his eye. The smile's disappeared, and he looks eerily calm again. His messy dark hair has already attracted little pieces of grass and Scorpius is half tempted to reach out and pull them out.

Fuck, he wants to thread his fingers through Al's hair and kiss his lips till they're bruised. He wants to see if their hands still fit perfectly or if — _Stop_, he tells himself. _Stop before it destroys you_. He turns away, closes his eyes.

"What's your favourite colour?" Albus asks.

Scorpius can feel the grass shifting next to him, and he opens his eyes again. Al's propped himself up on an elbow, and it occurs to Scorp that if he sat up, their lips would meet. The thought lingers in his head for a moment, then he turns away, shrugging. "Green," he says.

"Why?"

"I don't know, the grass?" He doesn't dare tell Al that it's because he fell for a pair of emerald-green eyes; The same emerald eyes that are staring at him now. "What's yours?"

"Blue," Albus says, flopping back down and hitting the grass with a soft thud.

"Oh."

"Aren't you going to ask why?"

Scorpius sighs. "Why?"

"The sky!" Al says, and Scorp can practically hear him grinning.

Blue and green — the earth and the sky. Maybe they were destined to be together, Scorpius thinks, tugging at a fistful of grass. Though, maybe, they're also destined never to touch.

He isn't entirely sure he could live with that.

* * *

_iv._

He's in a dark room, or perhaps the whole world has gone dark.

"Lumos," Scorpius whispers and the tip of his wand glows dimly, lighting the path in front of him. He's in a corridor, Scorpius gauges, though he doesn't recognise where. He turns, searching for something — anything — that might tell him where he is, but the corridor goes on infinitely with no sign of an end. Suddenly, a door flies open to his right, and, though Scorpius is sure it hadn't been there moments ago, he takes a step forward, curious.

"Scorp?" a familiar voice shouts. "Scorpius!"

He runs forward, into the room, but it's empty. "Albus? _ALBUS?_"

He's spinning around, or maybe the room is spinning around him. He only knows that Al was here, no, is here. They're hiding him from Scorpius. They're keeping Al away from him. They're—

"He's not here," a silky voice says. Delphi. "He never was here."

Scorpius shakes his head. "No," he says. "No. He's here. I heard him. He's — "

A cabinet opens and Scorpius steps towards it, wand raised. There's a boy inside. He's small and scrawny with messy black hair and bright green eyes. A smile flits across Scorpius' face. "Al," he whispers, suddenly hopeful. "Al —!" A green light illuminates the room, and he turns away, blinded by the flash.

When Scorpius opens his eyes again, the boy is dead.

Scorpius screams, reaching out, and wakes up with a jerk. He's sitting up, chest rising and falling, and trembling all over.

"Hey," a quiet voice whispers from next to him, and he's gently pushed over so the second figure can climb into his bed. "Hey, you're safe, Scorp. You're safe."

Scorpius shakes his head. "No," he whispers, tears spilling from his eyes. "No. Al —"

"I'm right here." A hand slips into his, warm and calloused and familiar. Albus, a voice whispers in his head, but Scorpius doesn't dare to hope. The green light was too familiar, the scrawny boy so real.

"They killed you," he whispers. "They took you away from me." His body quivers as Scorpius chokes back a sob.

"Shh," Albus whispers, and he lifts Scorpius' hand and places it on his chest. "Do you hear that?" he asks. "That's me." He shifts Scorpius' hand to his own chest. "And that's you. We're safe and alive and together, just like we'll always be.".

"You're alive," Scorpius echoes, though the dots still don't connect in his head. He reaches out, runs his hands over the thin material of Al's shirt, listening to his steady heartbeat. It's Albus. Albus who slips into his dreams every so often. Maybe, this is a dream too.

Scorpius doesn't think.

He simply tugs at the shirt and crashes his lips into Al's.

* * *

_v._

Regret.

Scorpius pulls away at once, shoving Albus off his bed and rolling off the other end. A million thoughts fly through his brain at once, and half of them make little or no sense. There are only two things he's sure about right now: the first that he needs to get out of here and the second that he'd rather stay here and kiss Al some more.

"Scorp?" Al splutters from where he's fallen on the other side of Scorpius' bed and, in a split second, his mind is made. Scorpius stands up, not daring a glance at Albus, and he breaks into a sprint.

Regret and fear.

Scorpius stops at the birch tree by the lake, his bare feet aching. His heart hammers deafeningly, and he isn't sure if it's because of the spontaneous exercise or because he can still feel the lingering warmth of Al's lips against his.

He tugs his hands through his hair, blinking back tears that pool in his eyes. He kissed Albus. He's been dreaming of this moment for months and, yet, he'd never imagined he could fuck it up so badly. Al was stiff against him. He must have been shocked, disgusted even.

Scorpius doesn't know what he'll do if they never talk again. He doesn't know what he'll do without Albus.

A tear slips out from his eye, and then another. The world becomes a blur, and his heartbeat gradually grows steadier, finally calming down from the shock. His emotions are a mess. There is relief because his burden's been lifted, but there's fear for what will come. Life was safe before; now it feels like a wreck.

"Scorp?"

It's Albus. Even through his tears, he can spot Al jogging down the field.

"Scorp," Al says again, stopping. "I —"

"I'm sorry," Scorpius says at once. "I don't know what I was doing. I don't know why —"

"Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"The kiss," Al says, taking a step closer. "Was it for real?"

Yes, Scorpius says, but no sound leaves him. "Yes," he tries again, but he's barely audible even to himself. He sounds just as defeated as he feels.

Albus is right in front of him now, crouching next to Scorpius. "You sure?"

He nods. There's no point in lying now. "I won't take it back," he says quietly. "But I can promise never to kiss you again. I swear. I just don't want to stop being your friend. Please."

Albus cups his face, running a thumb over Scorp's tear ridden cheek. He's too close to Scorpius again and it makes heart begins to go wild. "Breathe," Al says gently, thumb still tracing patterns on his cheek. "You okay with this?" he whispers. Scorpius doesn't know what he's referring to. He's not entirely sure his brain is processing anything other than the fact that Al practically sitting on him. Still, he nods.

Al's lips brush against his. "And this?" he asks against Scorpius.

Something clicks in Scorp's head.

He doesn't reply this time, he merely reaches up (as he always does in his dreams), stringing his hands into Al's hair, and pulls Al towards him. They fall back, Scorpius hitting the ground with Al on top of him, their legs tangled and Scorp's elbows hitting the ground painfully. They pull away, and Al rolls off, laughing.

"I've always wanted to do this," he says, and then Scorpius is laughing too, relief flooding into his veins.

The last year has been hard, between recognising his feelings and attempting to bury them. Tonight changes that and he's not sure what that means for either of them. The only thing Scorpius knows for sure is that he isn't going to leave Albus' side. Not in a million years.

* * *

**In my head, this ends with Scorpius staring at Al and thinking about making out with his some more but it didn't fit in. Feel free to picture that though ;)**

**Technically, I'm supposed to be studying but I'm exhausted and writing is calming. Plus, this has been sitting in my drafts for months and I'm really excited to finally share it with you guys!**

**As always, reviews, constructive criticism (and requests) are always welcome!**

**Thanks for reading!**

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